The thing about guilt is that it can keep you from writing for the next day too. And the next. It makes a “didn’t happen because life day” into a BIG EFFING DEAL. Which as you point out it doesn’t need to be.
Lately, I've been forgoing sitting in front of a blank page with an idea but not much enthusiasm and have instead turned to catching up on housework (long neglected in favor of writing) and socializing with friends (also neglected). I make lists to finish crappy cleaning tasks, run errands, make plans with people, RELAX FOR A CHANGE, etc. It's refreshing and NECESSARY in my case, because I gave 110% of myself to writing, and being a writer for so long I eventually stopped enjoying it and had to hit pause to ... how do I say it? ... re-round myself? Things had gotten very out of balance for me. Now that I'm back to sharing my time between work, family, writing, recreation more evenly, I feel a lot less guilt about NOT writing some days.
Exactly! Balance is important for so many reasons, both creative and, well, LIFE. If you lock yourself away for five years to write a novel, you won't have many friends left to celebrate that win. And maybe few family, too...
So it's not the not-doing that's bad, it's the guilt that's bad. Not only *should* we be doing these other things in our lives like cultivating friendships and crappy cleaning tasks, it's also important to take a break from the creative and let the well fill up again. We shouldn't feel guilty about that!
Besides, writing with a guilt-ridden mindset doesn't produce much good stuff anyway. Enjoy the writing. And then, enjoy the not-writing. Easier said than done, maybe, but there it is.
Glad to hear you're happy with your situation in that respect!
For me it depends on WHY I'm not writing on a certain day. If it's due to life impositions: a day of travel, doctor's appointment, chores ... I tend to get irritated. These things keep me from writing (it also often happens when I have a deadline looming). If it's a personal choice: I'm going to catch on that movie/book ... yep, all good here!
That sounds like the perfect, healthy approach! In that way, it's about protecting your creative time. If you're feeling creative but something's holding you back, then for sure that's frustrating. But if you're not feeling creative, there's no reason to force it. Time to move on to other things!
Wouldn't it be nice if others would plan our doctor's appointments around the ebbs and flows of our creative moments?
What an interesting post, Graham. I just subscribed to #GranoWriMo, I don't know how I didn't notice it earlier.
I believe excuses, while a lot of times are real and have to be dealt with, are made up because of procrastination. As Carlos Ruiz Zafon said in one of his novels: "Anyone who wants to call themselves a writer has to earn the right to procrastinate."
On the other hand, there are artists who make up excuses to practice their craft. I usually want to write, every day and most of the times I do, but as I said in the previous post I am haunted by shadowy fears. That makes me feel guilty, lazy, inadequeate and embarrassed. At those moments, I have come to think that I want into an imaginary writing room, only to find my characters waiting for me with hostile intentions and they start speaking one after the other:
"I don't believe he will make it past half an hour today."
"That's a bet. I wonder what excuse he will make up this time. He has already 'attended' the funerals of nearly all his loved ones. Some of them have died twice. Yesterday it rained too much. Last week he had indigestion issues."
"Hey, that's true. I have stomach problems too."
"He made you have them, so there can be two of you."
"Excuse me, Mr. Writer, we wanted to know if you are going to write again anytime soon. We have been unemployed for too long."
"I told you, we should have gone to Stephen King. Now, that's a host who knows how to treat his guests."
"Yes, until they end up dead or turned into vampires. Out of the frying pan and into the fire."
~~And the story goes on...
I have never heard of The Hemingway Café, and by its name it sounds amazing. Is it a real place or an online community?
The Hemingway Café is entirely an online community. I thought it had a nice ring to it... lol The closest thing to a real place is probably Les Deux Magots in Paris, one of the cafés where Hemingway used to write. (I believe there is a plaque at one of the seats where he used to write.)
Zero Draft Writing is another way to do it. https://www.towritewithwildabandon.com/p/zero-draft-writing This month, I'm practising what I call Extreme Zero Draft Writing (yes, I made that up). It's a heads-down, pen-up approach where I just write and write and write without thinking, without research, without going back to fix typos, etc. I'll be talking more about this in a future post (probably...) But that would be my recommendation to you. Push out all those other voices and just write. And if you can't push them out, write anyway. Get words down on paper and take it from there.
I have already both of them and, along with The Lump of Clay, they are golden advice. I am really looking forward to reading the Extreme Zero Draft Writing. I have tried doing that on several occasions but my prose collapsed, there were few to no descriptions and the narrative quality was below zero. The sentences were plain, for example "She did that.", "He went there" which ended up more like a list.
I checked the Hemingway Café, and I would like to be part of it, but I couldn't find a way to register. As for the real place it's magical. Last year, I visited Paris for the first time in my life. That was in February and I went to Les Deux Magots on a daily basis, trying to convince myself that I too could become a writer. As a visitor who doens't know a word in French, it was an amazing experience.
Ah Graham, you credit me for being part of the inspiration for this, but I must confess that it’s turned out not to be a good match for my personality after all. I did not (and will not) embrace a “write every day” goal, so that part of it went right out the window. Then I recognized pretty early on that I’m not one for daily doses of optimism and congratulations: they just feel false to me, manufactured somehow. Makes me sound like a pretty terrible match for this kind of experiment doesn’t it? Ah well, you try things and sometimes they don’t work the way you hoped they might. As for guilt? Nah, not a bit. I must say though, I commend and admire your diligence in making this thing work. Very impressive.
I get you re: the fakeness of daily congratulations. It reminds me of the episode of Cheers when Norm gets the task of firing people at his firm. He's popular because he gets emotional and obviously truly cares, and the people getting fired end up consoling him!
After a while though, he gets used to firing people and stops crying. He can't even fake it. It's just not the same.
When I say "congrats", I make sure that I mean it. It helps that I'm in it every day, too. So I know how hard it is sometimes to sit down and write every day. Hell, I do it for a living! It's not difficult for me to say congrats to people during this month of Good Vibes Only writing and mean it.
All of this being said, another major tenet of #GraNoWriMo is that all people who signed up set their own goals (or targets), set their own projects, and make their own rules. So deciding not to write every day is absolutely fine as well. It's more about setting a month aside to make writing a priority over other things to give you the time and space to do what you need to do.
For the record, I don't think you were a terrible match at all. In fact, you might be a perfect match. It was an opportunity for you to try something new. Maybe it didn't work out for you -- so what? I mean, I created it as a way to inspire people, so in that way it's unfortunate. But for many reasons, #GraNoWriMo won't be all things to all people. Again, unfortunate perhaps, but ultimately, that's okay. This isn't final exams or wedding vows or anything. There isn't a pass/fail -- I made it clear that there was no way to "fail" at all, because if you did anything this month, that's a win! Everyone in our group has completed something, so everyone "passed". If it turned out not to be the right system for you, that's a "pass" as well! (Ugh, re-reading it, this may come off as fake optimism. Not my intention! Optimistic, yes. Fake -- not from my perspective. But I *am* trying to cut down on sugary prose -- my doctor says it's bad for me...)
Regardless, you truly were the one to spur me on to find something to foster community. And, it seems to be working swimmingly for many others, so I have to credit you on that. Thanks for the inspiration!
Not letting go of guilt is something else I feel guilty about! Thanks for the musings and inspiration, Graham. I’m working on owning the productivity (or lack thereof) and moving on to the next session. Have a great shame- and guilt-free writing day!
The thing about guilt is that it can keep you from writing for the next day too. And the next. It makes a “didn’t happen because life day” into a BIG EFFING DEAL. Which as you point out it doesn’t need to be.
At least in my extensive experience with guilt, that is.
Lately, I've been forgoing sitting in front of a blank page with an idea but not much enthusiasm and have instead turned to catching up on housework (long neglected in favor of writing) and socializing with friends (also neglected). I make lists to finish crappy cleaning tasks, run errands, make plans with people, RELAX FOR A CHANGE, etc. It's refreshing and NECESSARY in my case, because I gave 110% of myself to writing, and being a writer for so long I eventually stopped enjoying it and had to hit pause to ... how do I say it? ... re-round myself? Things had gotten very out of balance for me. Now that I'm back to sharing my time between work, family, writing, recreation more evenly, I feel a lot less guilt about NOT writing some days.
Glad to hear GraNoWriMo is going so well!
Exactly! Balance is important for so many reasons, both creative and, well, LIFE. If you lock yourself away for five years to write a novel, you won't have many friends left to celebrate that win. And maybe few family, too...
So it's not the not-doing that's bad, it's the guilt that's bad. Not only *should* we be doing these other things in our lives like cultivating friendships and crappy cleaning tasks, it's also important to take a break from the creative and let the well fill up again. We shouldn't feel guilty about that!
Besides, writing with a guilt-ridden mindset doesn't produce much good stuff anyway. Enjoy the writing. And then, enjoy the not-writing. Easier said than done, maybe, but there it is.
Glad to hear you're happy with your situation in that respect!
For me it depends on WHY I'm not writing on a certain day. If it's due to life impositions: a day of travel, doctor's appointment, chores ... I tend to get irritated. These things keep me from writing (it also often happens when I have a deadline looming). If it's a personal choice: I'm going to catch on that movie/book ... yep, all good here!
That sounds like the perfect, healthy approach! In that way, it's about protecting your creative time. If you're feeling creative but something's holding you back, then for sure that's frustrating. But if you're not feeling creative, there's no reason to force it. Time to move on to other things!
Wouldn't it be nice if others would plan our doctor's appointments around the ebbs and flows of our creative moments?
What an interesting post, Graham. I just subscribed to #GranoWriMo, I don't know how I didn't notice it earlier.
I believe excuses, while a lot of times are real and have to be dealt with, are made up because of procrastination. As Carlos Ruiz Zafon said in one of his novels: "Anyone who wants to call themselves a writer has to earn the right to procrastinate."
On the other hand, there are artists who make up excuses to practice their craft. I usually want to write, every day and most of the times I do, but as I said in the previous post I am haunted by shadowy fears. That makes me feel guilty, lazy, inadequeate and embarrassed. At those moments, I have come to think that I want into an imaginary writing room, only to find my characters waiting for me with hostile intentions and they start speaking one after the other:
"I don't believe he will make it past half an hour today."
"That's a bet. I wonder what excuse he will make up this time. He has already 'attended' the funerals of nearly all his loved ones. Some of them have died twice. Yesterday it rained too much. Last week he had indigestion issues."
"Hey, that's true. I have stomach problems too."
"He made you have them, so there can be two of you."
"Excuse me, Mr. Writer, we wanted to know if you are going to write again anytime soon. We have been unemployed for too long."
"I told you, we should have gone to Stephen King. Now, that's a host who knows how to treat his guests."
"Yes, until they end up dead or turned into vampires. Out of the frying pan and into the fire."
~~And the story goes on...
I have never heard of The Hemingway Café, and by its name it sounds amazing. Is it a real place or an online community?
The Hemingway Café is entirely an online community. I thought it had a nice ring to it... lol The closest thing to a real place is probably Les Deux Magots in Paris, one of the cafés where Hemingway used to write. (I believe there is a plaque at one of the seats where he used to write.)
Putting your critics on mute is a difficult but important skill to learn. I touched on this in an earlier post about having two critics on your shoulder, though only one should be listened to. https://www.towritewithwildabandon.com/p/how-to-listen-to-the-nigglings
Zero Draft Writing is another way to do it. https://www.towritewithwildabandon.com/p/zero-draft-writing This month, I'm practising what I call Extreme Zero Draft Writing (yes, I made that up). It's a heads-down, pen-up approach where I just write and write and write without thinking, without research, without going back to fix typos, etc. I'll be talking more about this in a future post (probably...) But that would be my recommendation to you. Push out all those other voices and just write. And if you can't push them out, write anyway. Get words down on paper and take it from there.
I have already both of them and, along with The Lump of Clay, they are golden advice. I am really looking forward to reading the Extreme Zero Draft Writing. I have tried doing that on several occasions but my prose collapsed, there were few to no descriptions and the narrative quality was below zero. The sentences were plain, for example "She did that.", "He went there" which ended up more like a list.
I checked the Hemingway Café, and I would like to be part of it, but I couldn't find a way to register. As for the real place it's magical. Last year, I visited Paris for the first time in my life. That was in February and I went to Les Deux Magots on a daily basis, trying to convince myself that I too could become a writer. As a visitor who doens't know a word in French, it was an amazing experience.
Ah Graham, you credit me for being part of the inspiration for this, but I must confess that it’s turned out not to be a good match for my personality after all. I did not (and will not) embrace a “write every day” goal, so that part of it went right out the window. Then I recognized pretty early on that I’m not one for daily doses of optimism and congratulations: they just feel false to me, manufactured somehow. Makes me sound like a pretty terrible match for this kind of experiment doesn’t it? Ah well, you try things and sometimes they don’t work the way you hoped they might. As for guilt? Nah, not a bit. I must say though, I commend and admire your diligence in making this thing work. Very impressive.
I get you re: the fakeness of daily congratulations. It reminds me of the episode of Cheers when Norm gets the task of firing people at his firm. He's popular because he gets emotional and obviously truly cares, and the people getting fired end up consoling him!
After a while though, he gets used to firing people and stops crying. He can't even fake it. It's just not the same.
When I say "congrats", I make sure that I mean it. It helps that I'm in it every day, too. So I know how hard it is sometimes to sit down and write every day. Hell, I do it for a living! It's not difficult for me to say congrats to people during this month of Good Vibes Only writing and mean it.
All of this being said, another major tenet of #GraNoWriMo is that all people who signed up set their own goals (or targets), set their own projects, and make their own rules. So deciding not to write every day is absolutely fine as well. It's more about setting a month aside to make writing a priority over other things to give you the time and space to do what you need to do.
For the record, I don't think you were a terrible match at all. In fact, you might be a perfect match. It was an opportunity for you to try something new. Maybe it didn't work out for you -- so what? I mean, I created it as a way to inspire people, so in that way it's unfortunate. But for many reasons, #GraNoWriMo won't be all things to all people. Again, unfortunate perhaps, but ultimately, that's okay. This isn't final exams or wedding vows or anything. There isn't a pass/fail -- I made it clear that there was no way to "fail" at all, because if you did anything this month, that's a win! Everyone in our group has completed something, so everyone "passed". If it turned out not to be the right system for you, that's a "pass" as well! (Ugh, re-reading it, this may come off as fake optimism. Not my intention! Optimistic, yes. Fake -- not from my perspective. But I *am* trying to cut down on sugary prose -- my doctor says it's bad for me...)
Regardless, you truly were the one to spur me on to find something to foster community. And, it seems to be working swimmingly for many others, so I have to credit you on that. Thanks for the inspiration!
Not letting go of guilt is something else I feel guilty about! Thanks for the musings and inspiration, Graham. I’m working on owning the productivity (or lack thereof) and moving on to the next session. Have a great shame- and guilt-free writing day!
lol -- thanks! You too, Mary!